The Internet has been and remains the most affordable way to find a partner. Still, to use it conveniently and not to be hurt, one needs to learn a few simple rules.
1. Timing
Give matchmaking dating services a well-defined time. For example, spend no more than an hour a day to view profiles and respond to the most interested respondents. In addition, take breaks in active search – use a month to select 3-4 of the most suitable candidates. Then delete the profile and develop an acquaintance with the selected group. If none of the acquaintances has developed into a comfortable relationship for you, resume your profile and searches.
2. Objectives
Honestly, tell yourself what you want, what you are ready to accept in a partner, and what is unacceptable. You do not need to write about this in your profile, but it is worth keeping in mind. Because for each goal there are different selection criteria and a different search strategy. Will you let a woman into your territory, or is a partner with housing important to you? Do you want a guest relationship, or are you looking for someone to live together permanently? How do you feel about your partner’s children? Do you have pets? Will you accept your potential match’s pets? It would seem that these are minor everyday questions. Why should we immediately answer them if we are in search of love? But these questions are able to destroy the relations of any couple who initially have been very nice to each other!
3. Love with obstacles
Determine if you are considering nonresident and foreign candidates from a matchmaking dating site. On the one hand, when both partners live in the same city, it is easier and faster to meet, look at each other, and decide. But, at the same time, in other countries and cities, there are many interesting women. If you decide not to narrow the area of searches, it is good for long-distance candidates to use a few simple principles so as not to waste time. Set the time for how long you are ready to wait for a real meeting.
If she is serious about her intentions and chooses a man from another region, a woman from afar keeps in mind the need for a meeting. She is ready for it, which means she will find the time, despite any employment and distance. A lady who just wants to fantasize will postpone a meeting under any most incredible pretexts. If there were already two offers, and a couple of months have passed since the beginning of communication but your lady doesn’t want to meet in person, you can safely transfer her to the blacklist.
If a lady immediately declares that she is ready to come, even determines the time of arrival, but at the same time all her conversations revolve around your money or estate, she may want to make use of your money. Are you ready for such an adventure? It’s also good to immediately clarify with a woman how she sees your relationship in the future – does she want you to move? What can you do in his city or country? Are there any cultural differences?
4. Stay open
Respond to all messages on matchmaking online dating service other than those that are clearly offensive and vulgar. Even if they are «Hello, how are you?» Remember that writing to a stranger is a very difficult task. It is even more difficult, from the very first minutes, to look interesting, to joke uncommon, and so on. If you do not believe us, try to write to someone first and start a conversation. Therefore, help the interlocutor who dared to do it. Ask questions. Do not hesitate to compliment and accept it gratefully. Check the person in communication, and do not draw conclusions just before it begins.
5. Give a chance!
Go to meetings. Yes, we all value time and do not want to waste it. Therefore, many people want to weed out inappropriate options, even at the stage of correspondence. But, do not forget that not all are masters of the epistolary genre. For many people, it’s hard to write and easier to communicate in person. And some candidate who writes you short messages «about nothing» and does not know what to ask and what to say, in life can turn out to be quite a pleasant person with whom you are comfortable despite the fact that he is silent.
And the way a person makes an appointment is very revealing. If in the correspondence you determine the day and time in advance, but she doesn’t respond and appears later on without any reasonable explanation or just saying «I was busy» — do not give her a second chance. Such a woman may easily let you down. You will feel unnecessary and abandoned. If she gives you 15 minutes for a meeting, it is not a fact that she will give more for the relationship.
In addition, it is not a secret for anyone that both men and women on the Internet may lie – at a matchmaking dating service, they sometimes indicate the wrong age in the profile, post photos that are irrelevant or heavily modified by Photoshop. You may think that you are communicating with a 35-year-old handsome belle, and a 50-year-old granny will come to a meeting. If a woman herself sets the time and place and does not ask if it is convenient for you – there is a selfish person in front of you, which is also not the best choice.
However, do not forget one of the golden rules of psychology. It sounds like this: «If a person keeps his hands in his pockets, he is uncomfortable or he is lying. Or maybe he’s just cold.» The meaning of the rule is that any «bell» can be both alarming and falsely far-fetched. If you like a woman, it is better to check everything in person.
6. Expectations and reality
Combine your expectations from a partner with reality. Look at yourself in the mirror and honestly tell who you are and what kind of woman can be interested in you. If your own critical skills aren’t good enough, you can ask one of your close friends how you look. According to observations, those who cannot evaluate themselves critically are very vulnerable and tormented on matchmaking dating sites.
For example, a not very slender and not very well-groomed man aged 40+ sees himself as still a 30-year-old prince and expects from a woman a sporty body, stylish look, and above-average material wealth. He won’t find such a woman, simply because he is not in her field of vision, refuses ordinary women over 50, and goes out into the world with resentment: «There are no good women around.” Or a 50-year-old man, unkempt, without an apartment, writes to 25-year-old girls, receives refusals from them, and concludes: “All women need only money.”
7. You are here not for a queen
Treat online matchmaking dating as an experiment, as an attempt. Do not look at everyone like a woman of your whole life. Do not consider the first date as a start of a relationship. Do not confuse sex with love and relationships. Do not reject or devalue a person right away, but at the same time, immediately tell about what you do not like. An adequate person will hear and take notes.
An inadequate person will continue acting wrong. The main thing is that you must not continue communication with such potential matches. Now online dating is the most convenient way to find a partner. The main thing is to use it correctly. And do not forget that a soulmate can be found everywhere, even where you least expect. Communicate, meet, check, search. Relationships are a process, not a result. Let yourself be in the process.
